SHOWING UP!

When I first started this blog on January 1st, 2009, I didn’t really know what it was going to be. I just hoped if I started it and kept the posts coming, it may evolve into something special, but there really was no “grand expectation.” However, over the course of the year, I have to admit there were many times when I set out to complete an act of goodness with higher hopes than the results that eventually transpired. For example, I remember going to homeless shelters with the thought of feeding hundreds of families in need and ended up only helping the few people who were there. This is not to say that this isn’t an act of goodness. By all means it is, and I’m sure they appreciated the help. But, I was perhaps, selfishly, hoping to make a bigger impact. This type of thing happened many times throughout my year of “goodness,” as my goal has always been to be as helpful, thoughtful, and present as I can when volunteering, donating, or helping others.

Although I had experienced my share of “goodness” letdowns here and there, I never dealt with anything close to the end result of our Latin America volunteering experience. Before we left on this journey, I didn’t have high hopes, I had huuuge hopes. For months, I pictured myself working with these children in Peru and Costa Rica–children who really needed some extra love and attention. I saw their laughter and their love. I envisioned some good, healthy transformation (for them and for me). The only sadness I pictured, was when I would have to say goodbye to them. I couldn’t wait to go and be part of this experience. I asked my husband to take a leave of absence from his job and join me on the journey. Together we moved out of our home, put everything in storage, and took off on the adventure. And then… as you all now know… I was pretty let down when we got to Peru (because of the disorganization of the project there) and then was devastated in Costa Rica when we found that there wasn’t even a project to volunteer with! But, over the past few days, as I’ve been thinking about all the special insights and “take aways” from this year of goodness, it really hit me that there is a very big lesson here. Well, there are many, but the one that stands above all the rest is the fact that I can’t control the outcome–only how I react to the outcome.

It may be healthy to have high hopes, grand dreams and large expectations, but what happens when we don’t achieve them? For me, the answer hasn’t always been clear. However, I’ve realized that when it comes to acts of goodness, you can not rely on the result as the motivating factor. Me wanting to help tons of people may be a nice thought, but it may also be a bit selfish. Some of that “selfishness” is good. It feels good to help others. It adds happiness and balance to our lives. It’s healthy. But it becomes unhealthy when our emotions get caught up in the results. Especially because… we don’t control the results! So what can we control? SHOWING UP. Yep, that’s it. That’s where our focus and intention has to be. If you choose to show up (albeit with money or time), then do it. Show up. Show up present. Show up committed. And release the need for personal satisfaction. This is obviously something I’m now learning and still working on, but it’s definitely a key revelation that has helped me move out of the past and into the present. It’s even a bit empowering when you really think about it.

So there you go class, the lesson for today is to take your focus off the results and onto showing up. You’ll be surprised what you can learn simply by being present.

For those of you who are still hungry for more goodness, here is a little story from today to wet your palate…Enjoy!

Today Matt and I visited Manuel Antonio National Park in Costa Rica. It’s a beautiful park with jungle trails that lead to beautiful beaches. It’s one of the most popular destinations here in Costa Rica, so much so that thousands of people visit the park each day. Due to the rules of the National Park, only 700 (or so) people are allowed to be on the park grounds at any given time. They also charge a fee to enter the park to help keep the park in “good working order” for all the tourists who travel from all over the world to see it. Well, we had to wait in line to get into the park, as when we arrived, they were already at maximum capacity. It was hot, the line was long, but it eventually moved. Once we got inside the park’s gates, we had to wait in another line to pay for our entrance fee. One thing that we have realized whilst traveling in Latin America, is that credit cards are not as widely accepted as they are in the States. SO, we have learned (sometimes the hard way) to always carry cash in instances like these. The people behind us, however, didn’t realize that the park accepted cash only. Matt and I overheard them discussing what to do, and we really felt for them. They had arrived to the park on a local bus, had waited in line for at least 30 minutes, only to then get back on the local bus, and then try to find an ATM (which is no easy task in Manuel Antonio) so that they could then come back and wait all over again? Because we understood how things can go awry while traveling, we piped in and told them that we could loan them the cash they needed to get in. We didn’t know these people at all. Not even their names, but if we’d have been in similar situation, (and we’ve had a few on this trip) we would have been so grateful if someone came to our aid like that. They were very appreciative at our offer, but asked how to pay us back. We suggested that they could bring the money by our hotel later. They hesitated, as they have no car here, and no transportation in Manuel Antonio can be a little troublesome. SO, we told them not to worry, enjoy the day in the park, and we would stop by their hotel later to pick up the money. I think they thought we were a godsend as they thanked us and then went into the park to enjoy their day!

PS. We picked up the money this evening and they left us the nicest note telling us that they “couldn’t thank us enough for what we did for them.” Awwww!